Gazing into eternity . . .

Gazing into eternity . . .
Bay of Bengal, Konark, Orissa, India, 2009

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Deconstructing "Yoga"


As I prep for my two month yoga teaching stint in India, gathering my lecture notes and papers, I am constantly running up against this truly western, Enlightenment era compulsion to construct linear histories, where event A leads to event B leads to event C, in the context of which everything is getting better and becoming more perfect (thanks Hegel). Open any basic book on yoga and this colonialist tendency to appropriate and determine different cultures according to one's philosophic and historical framework is right in front of you: clay seal at found at Harrapa indicates yoga, followed by proto-Yoga in the Vedas, Upanisadic yoga gave rise to Patanjali, directly descended from him was Swatmarma and Hatha Yoga, in whose foot steps BKS Iyengar and other modern yogis follow. This is simply not the case!

As conscientious practitioners and teachers of yoga, there is a huge responsibility to not simply follow the path of least resistance and cave into this often racist and pejorative tendency to construct linear histories of yoga, but we must discover how this linear history emerged and deconstruct it by uncovering the many sources and influences that contributed to "yoga history" which deserve attention in their own right. In the case of what we call yoga, there are tremendous influences from Ayurveda, Tantra, western science and western physiology, amongst other systems of knowledge, which have created this funny practice we do at our local gym, studio, or under our guru (skst: heavy). In fact these influences are so tremendous that it is nearly impossibly to point to a certain practice or monolithic tradition that can rightly be called "Yoga" outside the intermingling of these systems. Yoga is a constantly changing, fluid and emergent practice that is not monolithic or particularly Indian in origin although the word may be Sanskritic.

Furthermore, there is this very modern compulsion to look towards science to legitimate practices, beliefs, and communities. If science corroborates, even loosely or by extension the axioms of a system or group, then there is a stamp of approval given to the continuation existence of that system. As the Dalai Lama says, if science disproves any of our practices, then those practices must be abandoned. Within modern yoga there is a strong current of thought that seeks to identify prana (skst: energy), chakras (skst: wheel), and kundalini (skst: a goddess and the serpent force at the base f the spine) with breath, glands, and the spinal column and nervous system. Again, this juxtaposition and superimposition of modern physiology onto the tantric subtle body of hatha yoga is a product of poor history and the colonialist tendency of commandeering the "native, unscientific, and religious" and turning them into "the scientific and secular" in order to make those practices justifiable and amenable to western tastes. To construct this modern veneer over distant practices and beliefs, we pejoratively whitewash the motivations, culture, and methods of, in this case, the medieval traditions and practitioners who practiced yoga as a religious rite and whose divinized subtle body was central to the efficacy of their practice. Although it may seem to be the case that the pineal gland corresponds to the ajna chakra (skst: wheel of wisdom) located at the third eye, it is inappropriate for us, as intelligent and thoughtful human beings, to make this identification without addressing what we are overlooking and calling attention to what is marginalized by this western compulsion: to examine whose histories we are discounting and what realities we are marginalizing.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Cha . . . Cha . . . Cha . . . Changes

"Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about." -Rumi


BOISE. Boston. Chicago. Exorcism. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Neurolux. Anusara. Trail Running. Harvard. Identity Crisis. Mudra. Rainbow. Juniper Gulch. Del Del. Necrophilia. Wendy Doniger. No Gluten. Sanskrit. Planes. Earl Grey. Dancing. Story Story Night. and on and on and on.

Preface: I was chatting with my dear, old friend Jyl. Her ham sandwich was stolen from the lunchroom at her beauty school that day. Her tummy growled and she laughed at the sheer hilarity of someone surreptitiously stealing bread, dead animal, and mayo. I was inspired & impressed by her positivity inspite of the violation. As per usual, this conversation mushroomed into a deep philosophical discussion: was this a case where human needs and the suffering caused by these needs not being met (food & hunger) overrode moral action? Is the USA an impoverished nation where peoples basic needs are not met? Is there a universal morality? Why do people do bad things? Can we assign existence to something lacking The Good? What is up with people at beauty school, I thought they only ate salads? What role does family education play in responsible citizenship? and on and on and on . . .

Pre-Preface: Although I believe numerology is highly dubious, this is a "1" year for me, meaning life is currently filled with openings, beginnings, alpha rather than omega. No matter the Sedona, quasi-mystical import illustrating my current life circumstances, I am experiencing this HUGE transition where, so long as I stay on the positive side of the uncertainty, life is unfurling infinity possibilities beneath my feet and heart that could take me in unimaginably amazing directions . . . to that field beyond wrong-doing and right-doing, as Rumi says. I have moved away from my long time home in beautiful Flagstaff, left my fabulous yoga jobs, and students, I am living no where permanently (save the present moment of course), am giving away copious amounts of belongings (thank God), packing to leave the country for a very long time (teaching yoga in India, again), followed by a move to the east coast (Boston), and graduate school at Harvard studying South Asian religions and Sanskrit, preparing for future in academia that I haven't fully committed to yet- after all this is a "1" year, I am only working on the beginnings, not the conclusions :)

Meat: Not really, I am doing a fast, just the thrust of this blog. So, I have before me both "Transition" and, "what is up with the world?" Since I am a yoga-geek, self proclaimed and proud, I must always ask myself, "what is the yoga lesson here?"

Like a freight train, I recollect the wisdom of my practice and know that the world is unimaginably full with every action & reaction, every degree of consciousness where less and more have only relative value, the full spectrum of emotion & experience. That indeed the universe is unimaginably full of infinity as we willingly and willfully choose to experience it or to not experience it. Human embodiment coupled with this unbounded fullness present us, at every turn, the opportunity to stretch ourselves into the unknown and experience "evil", "love", "hate", "lust", paradox & perplexity in ways yet unknown to our limited purview of Reality. Continually pushing the envelope into the Absolute, opening to the brink of potentiality, with each breath and transition, gives us an opportunity to wonder with mystical amazement- why is the world could be this way, what is going on, and where will this all lead- and dance with the eternal pulsation of divine energy within which we swim, sometimes more or less consciously.

Free Will or BBQ Sauce or Not?: How do we choose to experience this infinity existing within each present moment? Do we retreat into fear and negativism? Or do we bare down and stay with it, stay with it, ride it out with full consciousness? When someone takes something from us and makes us suffer, do we become angry or do we experience the full spectrum of Reality that is present in this charade? Do we expand into the moment? When we are transforming, are we fearful of how amazing we are becoming, how amazing we all ready are, or can we let the blossom burst into bloom?

I am setting my course towards Rumi's grassy field, making this "1" year of beginning, transition, metamorphosis, everything it could be and more. I cannot and will not back down from Life, I will yell a resounding, yogi "YES" as I rise to the occasion and meet the universe in all its unbounded glory, no matter how dark or light it may be. And this is my battle cry (and my own personal pep talk), "YES", as I lift myself up to new heights, as we all lift ourselves, letting our hearts' flames light the way that others might also be inspired.

OM,
Karlie

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

So Much More . . . .

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? . . . As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
~Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love.

With the turning of the months, the unfolding of spring, and the advance of years, I rediscover the wisdom that we, as spiritual beings having a physical experience, are so much more than we think we are. This wisdom is easy to know intellectually and I believe each one of us deeply understands this truth that we are all ready complete, beautiful, successful, intelligent, etc. However, the experience of this truth is quite another story. For myself, the best way to uncover and connect with the wisdom of my heart is through yoga practice.

Each time I come to the mat to practice, play, and remember, I am gifted with experiences of new engagements, deeper poses, freshly uncovered pains, balance collapses, and a flood of experiences and Ah-Ha moments offering glimpses and experientialy reminding me how amazing I am, how wonderful this life is, and how brilliant we all are. In our society, people are not often encouraged to recognize their own greatness or to believe the praise received from others, to do so is considered self-centered or ego-centric. To the contrary, the truly self-centered, ego-centric act is to not acknowledge the amazing gifts we contain within us all ready, to cower in the midst of our beauty and criticize the ineffable brilliance of our own hearts. This is the biggest travesty of all.

As we practice on the mat with our minds completely focused within our bodies, the ego, the perceiver of limitation and inadequacies, is short circuited allowing our inner light and talent to effortlessly shine to the surface of our minds and bodies. The more frequently we practice, the more quickly we remember who we truly are and the greater degree to which we reprogram our thinking, our existence, our relationships, and our self-image to reflect this deepest truth all the time: we are unlimited and unconditioned abundance. We do not have to work at being brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous, we are all ready all these qualities and yoga is how I remember exactly what we all are.



On other notes . . . what a great month February was! We had an amazing time cross country skiing at Flagstaff Nordic Center's yurt for the full moon, the apogee of the moon when it appears at its largest for the whole year. Josephines catered the BBQ and we had plenty wonderful people, vino, skiing, and fun. My friend Janese came up to visit for the Valentines/Chinese New Year weekend and we tore up the town: nice dinner, wine loft, dancing until 2am (wow, when was the last time I did this, I must be getting old)! The next day we floated the Dirty Verde with a great group of people and had an awesome time going off rope swings, loosing dogs, and floating into the sunset. Had a super amazing body/energy work session with Jonah from Harmony Yoga that blew me away and cleared some stuff out! This last weekend was my second yoga workshop entitled, Transformations: Forward Folding and Twisting. We had a heart expanding time twisting ourselves into knows, taking ourselves apart, and putting ourselves back together again as our best selves, reflecting the brilliance within.


Next up . . . birthday weekend with girlfriends in Sedona and Jerome! HURRAY! And, as always, more yoga . . .

Light & Love,
Karlie

Monday, January 25, 2010

Born Free

FLAGSTAFF.  I am flying, literally!  A day later, I am still reveling in the energy, beauty, and freedom we found at my first two and a half hour intensive yoga workshop.  Inspired by this new year and new decade of INFINITE POSSIBILITIES, I themed the class "Born Free" as a celebration of our inherent freedom as dynamic, diverse, and divine incarnations of total goodness and purity.  

What better way to tap into boundless freedom than by opening the hips??  As storehouses of movement, activity, tension, and incredible possibilities, these huge rotator joints offer us the opportunity to step beyond our habitual patters of moving our legs back and fourth along a two-dimensional plane, allowing us to expand our bodies into the saggital, three dimensional plane, opening the hips in ways they are seldom used.  As we expand into new arenas of physical movement, our bodies are flooded with new experiences and our minds begin to transform, taking the shapes of new consciousness and awareness of those radical, new physical experiences.  Our boundaries and perceived limitations are softened and blurred.  We achieve an experience based transformation of consciousness, a movement from limitation to freedom.

Through this long hip opening process, I was bless to lead wonderful, adventurous students deeply into their experience.  I am so grateful for their dedication, focus, and lightness of heart.  We had a blast!  Quite literally . . .  if you haven't tried holding a long gomukaasana followed by garudhaasana, do it!  Garuda is the celestial raptor the Hindu god Visnu flies around the universe on, maintaining order throughout all the realms of creation.  Taking this pose after the intense central channel opening of gomukaasana literally induces the feeling of flying as the energy rises up the central channel and then flows like nectar down the body.  The levitation continued with variation on Hanumanaasana, yogi splits (hips square!). Hanuman is the Hindu monkey god and general of the monkey army responsible for rescuing SitA from Lanka and returning her to Rama.  Hanuman is renown for flying from India to the island of Lanka in the splits.  In fact, when not bowed at the feet of Rama, this is the typical depiction of Hanuman, flying through the air in the splits!  And for a little extra flying fun, we practices svarga dvijaasana, bird of paradise.  Such a beautiful pose!


Stay posted for next months workshop, "Transformations", forward folding and twisting.  We are going to have a rockin' good time, squeezing out the old and inviting the fullness of our inner light to transform us from the inside out!  

 On other notes, life is great.  This weekend is the full moon cross country ski yurt adventure.  If you have skis or want to try, shoot me a message and we'll save a brew for you on the patio!  I have been looking forward to this since last winters surprise full moon ski.  This will be all the better since Flagstaff has received somewhere between 4 and 6 feet of snow; the city is still digging out.  I love the snow but was sad so many yoga classes were cancelled :(  But, on the up side, I realized more how much I LOVE Flagstaff and LOVE teaching yoga here!  Especially when I have so many great students and can embrace at The Peaks and outdoor recreations between classes.   Recreation = re-creation, baby!  YES!!   

All the grad school applications are in and now I play the waiting game until mid-March.  Cross your fingers, pray I get in and receive funding!  I'll keep you posted when I find out where I am going.

Love,
Karlie 

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

In The Light!

FLAGSTAFF.  CHRISTMAS.

"He who is awake, my hymns -- my riches -- seek him out." ~Rg Veda  
With each breath and action based on yogic choices, the amazing, bountiful gifts of life become more clear, more profoundly apparent, in this life and the surrounding world.  

Happy Holidays, Everyone! Mom is currently visiting from Idaho and we have been having a fabulous time!  Not only have the holidays been a beautiful gift, but Solstice brought the Earth into its swing back towards the light, a truly wonderful cause for celebration, and yoga teaching opportunities continue to knock at my door!  These special events and more have filled our hearts with love, life, and light this month.

The holiday season started out with a grand entrance: my sweet, wonderful mom came to visit!  Each year I realize more and more the importance of family and especially the blessings of an amazing relationship with my mom, so I am always happy and grateful to spend time with her.  

Settling down and stepping more into conscious control of my life causes me to realize that I simply cannot continue to ignore my long term shoulder injury.  I decided to seek help and went to an amazing Acupuncturist: Monte Gores (in Flagstaff @ Red Door).  Promptly after the session, I was taken aback by a flood of psycho-somatic release and a slight emotional roller coaster ties to my shoulder.  But, since Christmas promises to make things joyous, a Christmas party at Bruce Aiken's art studio alleviated my slight sufferings.  Finally mom and I were able to see his stunning, mostly acrylic, artists depictions of the Grand canyon where he lived for 33 years! Wow . . . another reason I love, love, love this great little mountain town!

Here is the highlight: mother-daughter road trip to Chaco Canyon for the Winter Solstice! If you don't know about the architectural-celestial sacred alignments at this ancient Puebloan site in northwestern New Mexico, LOOK IT UP! What an amazing place! It so happens that on major celestial and lunar events, like Solstice, the pueblos and other structures align with the phenomena representing sacred tie markers for the ancient Chacoans.  In fact, the precision of their engineering is more precise than our computer assisted modern triumphs! 

In Pueblo Bonito
Mom and I posted up in Farmington, NM, making it into the national historic park just in tie to join to 10am tour of Pueblo Bonito, a 600 room pueblo built over 1000 years ago.  Right as the solstice happened at 10:47am, we were traversing the back wall of the pueblo, rounding an truly epic corner of the building, and entering the central plaza of the pueblo where all the community hustle and bustle would have happened centuries ago, before white people even knew about this continent.  We capitalized on this major earthly event by continuing on a pictograph hike and taking in more of the stunning pueblos, including Casa Rinconada, the largest pueblo in Chaco Canyon and the symbolic center of Chacoan civilization. 

Pueblo Bonito
Our return home was punctuated by an auspicious wrong turn to Gallup, New Mexico causing us to avoid a huge winter storm pummeling the reservation instead directing us towards Winslow, AZ (yes, the same place as in the Eagle's song) and La Posada Hotel.  Enjoying this 1920's wild west railroad and Frank Harvey hotel, mom and I enjoyed some wine and learned all about the early history of the 20th century west. 

After embarking on the final return leg of our "Into the Light" adventure, we arrived back in Flagstaff in time to celebrate Christmas Eve with a huge event . . . the official launch of my yoga web site: yogabykarlie.com!  Yes, it is official, I am a yogi by profession.  Teaching over 13 classes per week at no less than four local yoga hot spots, I am earning a living sharing what I love with amazing people who are also inspired by the power of yoga! 

Life is full of so many amazing blessings and this Christmas I receives so much more that material gifts under a tree, my world was filled with magic, miracle, and mystery with each yogic choice and affirmation.  With each opportunity to step into the currents of my heart, fearlessly say "yes" to life, support and encourage others doing the same, and stick to my guns as I set my boundaries and rely upon my strong foundations, the universe has supported me, presenting new opportunities beyond the scope of my previously limited vision and imagination.  It keeps getting better and better!  I can't wait for tomorrow . . . 

See you in the NOW!

XO,
Karlie

Monday, November 30, 2009

When One Door Closes An Even More Amazing Portal Opens!!

Image: Karlie under Buddhist gateway in the mist at Tiger Hill, Darjeeling, India

FLAGSTAFF.   I absolutely love love this amazing little mountain town!  I cannot express how completely joyous I am to be staying in Flagstaff through the winter and next spring, it is as though I am living in a state of awe about the mind-blowing opportunities that are constantly being presented to me every day! Before I go any farther, I must express my gratitude to the mountains, the birds, my friends and family, yoga, the many teachers, to the beauty of all the loving souls surrounding me every moment, and to each breath in the Now.

And, on a more personal note . . . the expression that, "when one door closes, another one opens," has always seemed like a trite platitude, but now I am living the amazing proof that indeed this is the case.  I had no idea how stifling a wrongly conceived relationship could be; how much of myself I had shut away and forgotten about . . . 

For weeks, I wrestled with the difficulties of untangling my personal identity from the identity I cultivated being part of a couple, to save my soul from a state of suffocating decay within the binds of a relationship that was harming it (or making it strong as I have come to see).  The transformation came when I finally decided to stay in Flagstaff instead of run away back to Boise, when I finally decided to make myself back into the person I am in my heart and unstoppably seize upon my gifts and power for the benefit of all without shame or apprehension.  

One of my first moves was to climb mountains.  I always wanted to climb Mt. Kendrik and Mt. Humphrey's, so I finally did and with amazing groups of people!  Mt. Kendrik was a great trip and Mt. Humphrey's was quite another story.  The entire trail was covered with snow and winds were gusting ~80MPH as we were making the final ascent to the top of the 12,600ft peak, the home of the Hopi gods.  I was nearly blown off the trail and was forced to drop to hands and feet to reach to top before taking shelter from the whipping and freezing wind against a rock wall built for the purpose.   Amazing how taken for granted this perilous wilderness trek can be simply because I can look at it each day from my front window!

Image: Peak of Mt. Humphrey's: Karlie, Jut, Whitney

My next move was to write out a list of everything I want to do in Arizona, my AZ Hit-List, before I leave so I can capitalize on my time and do things I haven't yet done each week.  So, I've got a list and am checking it twice, am making lots of great plans including full moon cross country yurt, am waiting to find out if I will get my Salt River permit for this April . . . you (whoever you may be) are invited if I do!  In the mean time, I am still filling out graduate school applications and have three of ten in all ready! Send some prayers out that they make it into the right hands for admission and full funding! Woop woop . . .

Thanksgiving was the highlight of new doors opening . . . . I spent "what the hell were they thinking when they fed those white people" day (thanks Jut) in Cottonwood with the Hispanic community and my dear friend, Allyson!  Calling this a cultural experience is an understatement . . . it was like I was on another planet that is only an hour away from home which is even more odd than going to India and knowing I am around the world.  In addition to playing the most spectacularly fun games of dominoes ever, I learned how to dance Mexican to the live Thanksgiving Mariachi Band!  If you know me at all, you know that I love dancing!- and wow, is Mexican dancing spicy!  It is close and fast and erotic and full of dips and spins and and and . . . I LOVE it. And, according to all the Hispanic people there, I "don't dance like a white girl, you [I] move like a Mexican!" Whatever that means, but, "Cool, can't wait to do more!"  Plus, Mexican turkey is super delicious!

Since I am on this carpe diem kick, I have been running a lot recently and decided i want to do lots of trail running while I have to opportunity.  So, last weekend I went down to Sedona for a real trail running adventure ("it's not an adventure until something goes wrong.").  I have always lacked confidence in my running so running with a good partner really great, apparently I am all right after all!-  Thanks!  We ran a red rock canyon, went to lunch, and then headed for Chino Valley and the Garchen Buddhist Institute for some temple and stupa time, stopping along the way in Jerome from some hula hooping.  

And, most excitingly, I am now a Flagstaff yoga teacher!  I always wanted to teach seriously here and now I am.  Once again, the power of simply making a choice.  Since deciding to stay in Flagstaff and sending out my resume, the phone has been ringing daily for me to teach yoga.  Now, not only do I have private clients but I am teaching at two local gyms and centers!  I have to again comment on what a gift yoga has been in my life.  The yogic journey has saved my life and given me life.  For the time I first set foot into a yoga class I began to heal my body and mind.  Eventually people began asking me to teach them.  Finally I took an Anusara teacher training and started teaching in India.  Now that I have chosen to put my yoga teaching abilities out there while I am still in Flagstaff, the opportunities are everywhere . . . watch out world, the sky is the limit!  

Image: Karlie in Virabhadraasana II at the Bay of Bengal in Konarak, Orissa

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Waiting for the Winter

FLAGSTAFF.   And what a relief it is!  I have finally decided to stay in Flagstaff until my next adventure to India, next summer for two teaching tours!  Until then, I am working up my Arizona Hit List of all the things I need to do in this beautiful country before I move on to the next phase in my life . . . hopefully the PhD graduate phase!

Really just making the choice to stay was the lynch pin.  I simply needed to make my mind up to stay in Flagstaff and then everything began falling into place.  Most importantly, I was no longer simply floating in the limbo of not knowing where my next move would be.  After five months of travel I needed to claim my roots, I needed to make a choice and decide! So I did.  And after weeks of wavering between Boise and Flagstaff, in one second I decided to stay.  Boy did that feel good.

This is not to say that I have been spinning my wheels since returning from my summer travels.  I have done quite a lot all ready.  I went to Idaho for three weeks where I partook in one of my all time favorite activities: Payette river canyon hot springing as the sun is rising.  Mom and I went to California for grandma's 90th birthday where we had a blast with the whole family.  When I arrived back in Flagstaff after visiting ID and CA, I had the wonderful fortune of attending a vegetarian lunch feast at a professors home and meeting Dr. Douglas Brooks, a scary smart professor of religious studies who happens to have founded his own tantric religion who many Anusara yoga people (his devotees) treat like a saintly guru from the heavens above, gazing at with glazed eyes- very interesting guy!  He gave me his new book, taught me a lot, and was very funny in his cynicism about the whole modern yoga enterprise.  He will be a great contact for getting a prison yoga program up and running!  

And no worries, I haven't just been playing!  I studied until for GREs until I nearly went blind- yes, I rocked them!  While cramming vocabulary words for the verbal section and buffing up on my quadratic equations, I went away on meditation retreat at Santa Rita Abbey outside of Sonoita (down along the Mexican boarder).  This was one of the most spiritually connected and beautiful things I have ever had the privilege of engaging in.  I stayed in a small, comfortable room, sans TV, telephone, or any modern communication apparatuses, had a fully stocked kitchen where I could cook for myself, an amazingly beautiful prayer/meditation hall I could use whenever I wanted.  The best part was that I didn't leave the compound or say a word to anyone (there were only two other visitors) for nearly five days.  

Now that GREs are done, I am finishing working up my grad school applications.  The first deadline is December 1st for UC Santa Barbara.  Cross your fingers that I get into a great school and get paid to go!  I am completely committed to spending the next five to seven years earning my PhD and doing whatever it takes, including intensive language training, rigorous reading lists, intense methodology courses, and hopefully fieldwork in India for the dissertation! 

In the meantime between now and India, there is a lot of wonderful things to do.  I can't wait for a winter climb up the San Francisco peaks with a group of friends this weekend.  Hopefully Chaco Canyon for the winter solstice.  Applying for permits on the Salt River Wilderness section and San Juan Goosenecks section.  Would love to do a Schultz Pass Road overnight cross country ski trip. And, winter trail running in Sedona!  Not to mention many, many more things on my hit list . . . 

Wishing you snowy dreams and big bear hugs!

Karlie